As long as people feel unhappy and have problems in their lives and do not know how to solve them, in principle, they can do psychological counseling. Psychological counseling is not just for psychological problems or diseases (although many people's pain and distress are indeed caused by it), in a broader sense, it is for people's wrong thinking. Each of us has more or less some wrong ideas, such as exaggeration, partiality, black and white, etc. These wrong ideas will make us cope with large or small problems in the process of life .
1. What kind of people need psychological consultation?
As long as people feel unhappy and have problems in their lives and do not know how to solve them, in principle, they can do psychological counseling. Psychological counseling is not just about psychological problems or diseases (although many people's pain and distress are indeed caused by it), in a broader sense, it is aimed at people's wrong thinking. Each of us has more or less wrong ideas, such as exaggeration (I did n’t do well in the exam this time, I ’m just an idiot), to cover everything (I ’m not going to study, I ’m nothing Not stupid), black and white (if a person loves me, it can tolerate everything, otherwise it does not love me), etc., these wrong ideas will make us cope with the emergence of life Small problem. Psychological counseling can help people realize their problems and provide effective steps and methods to help people change themselves.
Second, the causes of psychological problems and corresponding solutions
Everyone will encounter psychological problems. According to the causes and severity of these problems, they can be divided into short-term psychological problems and long-term psychological problems.
Short-term psychological problems are caused by some special or major changes in life, such as love conflicts and dilemma choices. The help-seeker is only temporarily caught in contradictions and confusion. At one time, he wondered what he really wanted and what criteria and values he should choose. His wrong thinking was not deeply rooted, and it was easier to solve. As long as the consultant gives power to the helper through understanding and empathy, clarifies the truth, and provides some effective suggestions, the helper can take the initiative to implement it, then the problem can be solved. Such psychological consultation can basically be completed within 1-3 times.
Long-term psychological problems are caused by their childhood experience and family environment. Help-seekers may not receive adequate care and love from their parents from an early age. They may be educated by their parents in a harsh, indifferent, long-term lack of effective inner communication, or parents The relationship has always been inconsistent. The family often quarreled, fought or even divorced, and the parents turned against each other ... These situations will make the help seekers form a more pessimistic or even extreme view of feelings, family, interpersonal relationships, self-worth, etc. Values. Many help-seekers have experienced deep sorrow and pain since they were young. In adulthood, they are in a complex society. They may encounter a lot of problems in their work, family, and friend relationships. They are more likely to feel confused, pessimistic, painful, and at a loss. And there is no effective way to relieve and be happy.
At this time, psychological counseling cannot produce results through reasoning alone, and freezing three feet is not a cold day. One or two consultations can never shake a person's outlook on life and values for many years of survival. If help-seekers want to make a breakthrough and change from the past improper lifestyle, they must accept long-term psychological counseling. Under the care, help and guidance of the psychological counselor, they should work hard to cooperate with in-depth thinking and introspection And bravely question and try to change the wrong ideas and rules of conduct in the past, so that it is possible to slowly change the wrong concepts of people and things in life, and establish a new and adapt to a good outlook on life and values. The length of long-term consultation depends on the seriousness of the problem, the personality, perception, and attitude towards life-changing of the person seeking help, ranging from several months to several years.
3. How does psychological counseling work?
Psychological consultation is a job that must be worked together by a consultant and a helper to be successfully completed. The short-term consultation is to correct the wrong thinking, while the long-term consultation is to reshape the personality and rebuild the three views.
Taking the case of lack of care and recognition in childhood, which leads to special attention to the opinions of others in the future, and the use of others' evaluation to define its own value as an example, the consultant needs to carry out the following steps after digging out the deep-seated problems of the helper:
1. Empathy, acceptance and tolerance, understand the mentality and emotion of the helper, and accurately grasp his current state, so that the helper feels warm, safe and accepted, and gradually begins to trust the consultant.
2. Help them gradually understand the impact of past experiences on individuals, and have objective and correct evaluation and understanding of the growth environment and parents' behavior.
3. Teach him to introspect and question those deep-rooted ideas, guide him to correctly understand and evaluate himself, and start to self-affirm and identify from the rational. Self-examination and questioning are very important, and must go through the entire psychological consultation process, even the life of a person.
4. In the process of consultation and communication, recommend them to read some books, give them some suggestions for action, and slowly make them have a more objective and deeper understanding and understanding of life and others, and establish self-esteem in a gradually adapted to a good life And self-confidence, and gradually from the level of reason into the level of feeling, that is, no longer "just understand the truth, but can't do anything." In this process, there will be resistance and sawing with great resistance to the old habits, and there will often be recurrence or even retrogression, and you must be patient and persevere.
5. In-depth discussion of life and humanity on the basis of the newly established value system, further enrich and enrich the new value system, and jointly find a life mode that is truly suitable for help seekers, and help them slowly practice and solidify.
